SHAKE DREAMS FROM YOUR HAIR

“I am extremely proud of the end result (the book) but deeply ashamed of my new drug habit. My name is Bob and I am a meth addict…but hey look what I can do on drugs! All proceeds from the book will go towards rehab.”

I made this statement in the book description. It was intended as a joke. Enough people have inquired about my sobriety status through emails and in-person that I have to explain it was a joke. However, it was a joke that would seem to be a lie if you haven’t seen me in twelve weeks. I have lost 21.5 pounds in that time.

I entered into a weight lost contest at work because I had reached my heaviest weight, 156 pounds at 5′ 8″, spending so much time in front of the computer creating Departure over the last year. There was a cash prize of approx $800 but this was not my motivation. I just wanted to shed a few pounds so I set a target goal of 145 pounds. This is a comfortable weight for me. During the contest I found it easy to shed weight by counting calories and riding the stationary bike at home. I don’t go to a gym because I prefer not to be surrounded by the people who tossed me in garbage cans in high school…those cheerleaders are a lot stronger than they look!

During the middle weeks the other contestants questioned why I was in the contest and claimed that I couldn’t win because I didn’t have much to lose. I then became motivated by spite and malice and set a new goal.

I remained in the top three during the weekly weigh-ins. In the second to last week I was close to hitting a wall. The other contestants were motivated by all my smack talk and man did I talk. They continued to lose weight at a steady and rapid pace because…they were big boned folks. They had plenty more to lose and I would soon be hitting the wall. So right before the eleventh weigh-in, I drank six bottles of water and played the disappointed and fatigued contestant. The added six pounds of water weight was eliminated by noon. I did it to slow the pace and appear to be out of the contest.

Today I weighed in for the last time at 134.5 pounds from 156 pounds. I lost a total of 13.8% of my body weight in twelve weeks. I have not weighed 135 pounds since I was eighteen. So if you have not seen me in twelve weeks then you would probably believe I am a meth addict without this explanation and my joke would appear to be the truth.

Spite and malice are great motivators.

I am not a meth addict but I am now built like one.

I won the contest…by a large margin.

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3 Responses to SHAKE DREAMS FROM YOUR HAIR

  1. David Sperow says:

    Thanks for the heads up……I may have been a little embarrassed when I fell over at EASY on Sat!

    See-ya,
    Dave

  2. marko says:

    Hey Bob. Been following your blog for several months now. Thanks for the werk. I’m a photographer and 911 owner. I just wrapped a shoot that involved my 911 and thought you might be interested. You can go to my website http://www.markjacksonstudio.com then go to the ‘films’ section and it’s called ‘Porsche 911’. This was actually part of a commercial to help sell tape dispensers. Odd, I know. Take care man. Marko

  3. Bob Tilton says:

    Hi Marko – thanks for the kind words. Great concept on the tape dispenser commercial. Checked out your site and really like the portrait work! Read your p&b retouching entry – man I retouch all day at work…for big clients too like The NorthFace, Jansport, Visa, Ariat, Chevron and more. I’ve always considered myself more of a Photoshopper than a photographer. Thanks for cking out my site!

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