This morning I awoke and said to my wife, “You need to take me to Blue Bottle Coffee and you need to pay for it since I am your trophy husband” in which she replied “Anything for you my Dear”.

Damn straight. That part I didn’t say aloud. I can only get away with so much you know.

So I got all dolled up in my Sunday best to find out why so many people worship the almighty Blue Bottle as I had never partaken in the elixir. For those who are unaware, Blue Bottle Coffee is an independent Oakland based company currently generating an epic amount of attention. They claim to only serve coffee within 48 hours out of the roaster and use all the proper buzz words like “organic”, “pesticide-free” and “shade-grown beans” but the one that I like…”vintage German” coffee roasters. Yeah I can get behind that selling point.

All my coffee snob friends praise them and speak of coffee like they’re chemists with their bunsen burner coffee preparation and deep appreciation for nothing but the best coffee. Personally, I’m content loading a k-cup, pressing a button and scratching my cup in my underwear while I wait. Yes…I just said k-cup. Deal with it.

With a new destination entered into the GPS and 16 Horsepower’s Folklore playing on the stereo – we headed off to Oakland. We were greeted by about a ten people deep line that slithered out the door. Apparently a lot of other trophy husbands had the same idea.

Have you ever seen a tip jar that full at Peets or Starbucks? These people really do appreciate the efforts of a skilled barista! Also notable was an iPad being used as the register.

My wife sat down and enjoyed our finely crafted beverages, I think my wife more so than me, the ambience of downtown Oakland and the all-so-expensive California weather.

Personally, my taste buds are too tar covered to fully appreciate the coffee. I appreciate the side effects and that’s how I measure good coffee. I want it to be strong enough for my palms to sweat, speech to stutter and my teeth to grind. I want to be wired and productive. That’s good coffee.

Is Blue Bottle worth the 25 mile trip though the Caldecott tunnel? Yes – simply because it’s nice to neglect your weekend chores and break your routine. Spending time with my wife was far better than the Blue Bottle beverages and as they say “it’s not the destination that counts but rather the destiny”…I think I messed that one up. Doesn’t sound right.

Damn straight. I’m saying that one aloud this time.

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  1. Paul Ciancimino says:

    You had me feeling like a coffee peon until you mentioned the K-cup. The only snobbery about my coffee is that I only use bottled water. Long live Keurig! (kudos for the wife bonding, good job!)

  2. Serge Small says:

    Great column, Bob and a time machine for me. As a former resident of Bologna, Italy, I had started every morning by stroliing around the corner from my apartment in Palazzo Bentivoglio to the coffee bar. Un cafe alto and a freshly-made pastry transported me to heaven. Between the espresso and that pillow-like pastry filled with the best cream I had ever tasted, I couldn’t be happier. The best part? I did not put on an ounce…no preservatives in sight!
    Today, I still start my mornings with espresso, but I cannot eat those pastries; I would be able to get into the Porsche. I need a new espresso machine now, but I’m waiting until the move to Philadelphia.

  3. Bob Tilton says:

    The Keurig is new to the household and can’t figure out why we waited so long! I had already been cutting down on the Starbucks and only reserve visits for the weekend. It’s an extremely $$$ habit…as most of you know.

    Serge – envious! What a great morning ritual of enjoying life! No pastries for me as I don’t want to lose my trophy husband status and get kicked to the curb.

  4. Jeroen says:

    Any other perks to being a trophy-husband, besides the funky coffee?

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